What to Say When You are Spectacularly Wrong: An Analysis of "How to Argue Effectively" by Dave Barry

       Dave Barry's sardonic overconfidence subtly criticizes aggressive, ignorant people who are quick to argue when they have no knowledge about the topic. He purposely uses fallacies throughout an article which claims to teach the audience how to argue, even though fallacies are to be avoided at all costs in an argument. Barry then inflates many of these baseless statements through hyperbole. He finally employs satire by infusing his article with a sarcastic humor. With a combination of wildly untrue statements and an obviously false cocky attitude, Barry disparages those who don't gather their thoughts before jumping into a confrontation.
       The author begins his list of tips with an entirely unjustifiable claim. He advises the reader to "drink several large martinis," and you'll discover you have a "wealth of information" about the "Peruvian economy." Any cognizant reader of this article will know that under the veil of alcohol, humans gain no knowledge but become less intelligent. This statement is automatically untrue, and the fallacy is easily realized by the reader. Barry then suggests that the reader should make the point that "Peruvians are underpaid," "based solely on the fact that you are underpaid." This second fallacy is also easily refuted, as the evidence does not support the claim. Barry purposely lists irrational points to convey the ignorance of those whose arguments are filled with alcohol-induced fallacies.
       Barry then exaggerates his ridiculous claims through hyperbole. He states that the addition of "Latin abbreviations" such as "e.g." and "i.e." to your vocabulary mean that you now "speak Latin." Most Americans are familiar with these abbreviations as they have been incorporated into the English language. Therefore, to imply that the knowledge of these phrases constitutes the knowledge of the entire Latin language is an extremely inflated claim. Barry later advises the reader to accuse their opponent that their words "sound suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say. In this article, the author is particularly describing arguments related to trivial matters or policital small talk at parties. Since it is difficult to sound as extreme as Hitler during a debate about issues much smaller than the extermination of the Jews, the reader can easily recognize this hyperbole, which is again use to criticize those who exaggerate their points.
      As is the standard for a Dave Barry article, satire is a key component. He encourages his students of argument to respond to their opponents with "the same tone of voice you would use to say, 'You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom.'" His crude humor pokes fun at the snobbery of the arrogant argumentative. By making such an obvious joke, he ensures that the reader understands that the article is not seriously suggesting such ridiculous tips. Barry finishes with a warning to his audience not to "pull any of this on people who generally carry weapons." He purposely ends the article with satire to reinforce the light, sardonic tone. He intends to make the reader laugh, as his work has become synonymous with humor.
     Throughout the article, Barry successfully juxtaposes supposedly serious advice with a satirically critical undertone. The employment or fallacy and hyperbole is used to chastise those whose arguments are filled with empty claims. He then pokes fun at the argumentative through blatant jokes. Although Barry seems to take on a serious advice column, he does not disappoint his loyal readers who have come to expect nothing less than hilarity.

"Kill 'Em! Crush 'Em! Eat 'Em Raw!"

1. John McMurtry's essay begins with a personal anecdote about the results of playing sports —especially football — since childhood. When he can no longer ignore his physical condition, he seeks treatment and is hospitalized. How does the anecdote lend credibility to his argument?

The main purpose of the inclusion of a personal anecdote in the beginning of the essay is to establish ethos. His own story gives him credibility because he has personally experienced the negative long-term effects of full contact sports. This demonstrates to the reader that the author has evidence to back up his argument.


2. Consider the language of football, especially the words shared by the military. What sports other than football have a militaristic side?

Any team-vs-team sport with an emphasis on organization can somehow be reminiscent of the military. Even non-contact sports such as basketball consist of set plays, drills, and the ability to function as a cohesive unit. Some other sports that employ these principles are lacrosse, rugby, and soccer.


3. Who is McMurtry's audience? Is it necessary for the reader to understand or care about football in order to understand what McMurtry is saying about society? Explain.

McMurtry has a fairly broad audience, but mostly appeals to football fans.  I think a reader with a decent understanding of football is going to benefit more from this essay than someone who has no knowledge of the sport, because if you don't understand how passionate people can be about watching/playing football, you can't understand why the brutality is tolerated.

4. McMurtry characterizes General George Patton and President Richard Nixon as "jockloving...media stars" (para. 6). Think of contemporary media stars who associate themselves with football or other sports. Does the association enhance or tarnish their image?

President Obama has been known to attend both basketball and football games. When I went to the Cotton Bowl this past month, the camera showed on the jumbotron that Eric Stonestreet, the star of the ABC sitcom "Modern Family" was at the game, cheering on Kansas State. Beyonce and Jay-Z are often shown in the crowd at sports events. Basically, the vast majority of media stars associate with sports in some way. This association usually serves to enhance their reputation, making them seem relatable to the average American. Photos of stars sitting in stadiums are often found in the "Stars are just like us" section of popular magazines.